


Maybe Sunshine or Maybe Rain

by MilenaPandora



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, JYJ - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Originally Posted on LiveJournal, Romance, oldfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-03
Updated: 2017-05-03
Packaged: 2018-10-27 04:55:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10802190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MilenaPandora/pseuds/MilenaPandora
Summary: Lost in memories and hope, Changmin waits





	Maybe Sunshine or Maybe Rain

_"Who knows what tomorrow will bring_  
Maybe sunshine or maybe the rain  
But as for me, I'll wait and see  
And maybe it'll bring my love to me, oh...  
  
Who knows what tomorrow will bring  
Maybe sunshine or maybe the rain  
But as for me, I'll wait and see  
And maybe it'll bring my love to me, oh...  
  
Sometimes it's a rainy day  
Just to let you know  
Everything's going to be all right  
All right... "   
\- Smoke and Mirrors by RJD2  
  
  
Changmin hates sundown. He isn't sure why; he only knows that the mere sight of the sunlight receding, dimming everything in his bedroom, makes his heart ache. Yet he doesn't know why.  
  
Maybe it reminds him of days long gone, his childhood, perhaps? Being home, with his family, when nothing was complicated and he knew only happiness. Or maybe those rare afternoons he got to leave the house and play with friends instead of doing schoolwork until sleep claimed him. When he thinks about it all, though, those memories don't make him sad. He grew up to accept that being an adult came with an endless number of responsibilities; he grew up knowing that he had been a good son, that he made his parents proud. Well, not entirely, but . . . they would have to live with it.  
  
Sitting in bed, gazing out the small window and at the rapidly darkening sky, Changmin waits. He hates being alone at this time of day; he would rather have someone hold him close and whisper in his ear that everything will be all right, that there's nothing he can't fix, nothing that can hold him back unless he lets it. He feels so weak at those times, though. Why should he need any reassurance at all? He has always been strong, smart (or so everyone says), he has always known exactly what he wants and gone for it, no matter the consequences. Shim Changmin isn't supposed to brood. The mere idea is laughable, him sitting on a bed, trying to determine why he's so unhappy when, in reality, he has never been happier.  
  
Suddenly, he forgets all about the sun and the past and everything and anything. As he falls back on the bed, smiling up at the ceiling, he remembers why he's here, in this room, in this apartment. It isn't an attractive place (at least not yet), and certainly not the kind he would have chosen under different circumstances. It's not his decision to make now, though, or rather, not his decision _alone_. How many places didn't they visit before finally choosing this apartment? Not to talk about the battle that had been choosing furniture and other details. None of it really matters, though, he has the one thing he wants and needs.  
  
Lost in memories and hope, Changmin waits.  
  
A door opens and locks, but he doesn't move, listening to each footstep, the rustle of a jacket as it is taken off. Changmin used to do that before, too, listen carefully when they had roommates and it was near impossible to tell the sounds one person made apart from the others'. His footsteps, though, the sounds he makes as he walks around, they have never changed.  
  
"Changmin, are you home?" And there's his voice, deep, beautiful. How he used envy the older man sometimes, how he could embed any emotion into each sound that left his lips, each note unforgettable and perfect. Changmin didn't think himself anything special back then, never did, not until _him_.  
  
"Bedroom!" he calls out. There is another room, but it's filled with boxes, all the things they still need to organize. Only their bedroom looks decent, and even so . . . .  
  
There's a soft laugh and then _he_ comes into view as he climbs up on the bed, grinning and leaning over him.  
  
"What are you doing?" Yoochun asks, then mock pouts. "You didn't even come to greet me at the door."  
  
Changmin glares, shoving Yoochun so that he falls on the bed, right next to him.  
  
"What do you think I am? A housewife or something? Do you need a foot massage, too?"  
  
Yoochun laughs (and, god, why is he so damn beautiful?), closing his eyes. Changmin can only watch him, almost mesmerized by his smiles and his eyes, and, god, everything about him. Here he is, the reason for everything, all the pain and the sacrifices, but also the reason for all the happiness behind it all. How long has he wanted this?  
  
The older man slowly stops laughing, smiling as he gazes into his eyes.  
  
"What are you thinking about?" he asks softly. Can he tell that he's as troubled as he's happy right now?  
  
Changmin shrugs.  
  
"That I hate sundown." He has to grin when Yoochun rolls his eyes, getting up and closing the window drapes.  
  
"Why do you have the lights off, anyway?" Yoochun asks, reaching to turn on a lamp. However, Changmin grabs his wrist and shakes his head.  
  
"Don't." The other man looks confused, but does as asked, coming back to bed. This time, he lies down next to Changmin, propping his head on his hand.  
  
"Now, tell me what's really bothering you." Changmin shakes his head; Yoochun doesn't allow him to avoid the question, though, gently holding his jaw and forcing him to look into his eyes again. "What is it?"  
  
Changmin shrugs. Should he talk about it? Should he ignore it?  
  
"It's silly," he answers, finally. "I was just feeling . . . sad? Nostalgic? It was probably just the time of day, and I was alone. See? Nothing important."  
  
Yoochun gazes at him, reaching down to grab his hand, intertwining their fingers together.  
  
"Nostalgic? What about?" he asks softly. Changmin looks away, shaking his head.  
  
"I promise, nothing serious." He turns to Yoochun again and grins. "If it makes you feel any better, I ended up thinking about things that make me happy."  
  
Yoochun smiles, his eyes full of love. He knows how Changmin feels, doesn't even have to ask, not that he ever had to; he just knew, they both _knew_. Changmin still wonders how that happened, a relationship born out of glances and touch, accidental and casual. He had already loved Yoochun for what seemed like forever, and then, one day, they just _were_. It had been so wonderful, that first wordless confirmation that, yes, the other man felt the same way, and days later, that first kiss . . . .  
  
Unfortunately, hiding the relationship from absolutely everyone had been difficult. They couldn't trust the people they were closest to; they rarely had any time alone. Later, though, when everyone unexpectedly found out . . . . It still hurts to think about it, how friends and family turned their backs on them. They still have some of their old friends, a few support them unconditionally. All the other people they loved . . . . gone.  
  
It doesn't matter, though; they're here now, together. For the rest of their lives.  
  
"What were you thinking about?" How typical. Changmin raises an eyebrow.  
  
"You know what makes me happy." Ridiculously well, too, especially when it comes to sappy stuff like this. The older man grins.  
  
"Indulge me," he insists. Changmin groans.  
  
"You'll really make say it?" His lover nods. "What kind of partner are you? Torturing me like this."  
  
Yoochun gazes at him, mock pouting again. Damn it, how can he resist that?  
  
"You're evil," Changmin declares. Yoochun laughs.  
  
"Come on. It's just a few words and then I'll leave you alone."  
  
The younger man sighs, feeling his face hot. Annoyance starts fading, though, as he answers Yoochun's gaze. He shrugs.  
  
"I'm happy that we're here, together," he said softly. "That . . . that we were strong and fought for what we wanted even when other people told us . . . ." He stops; it still hurts to remember everything that was said to them. Changmin shakes his head, smiling slightly. " _You_ make me happy."  
  
Yoochun just gazes at him. What goes on behind his eyes? Changmin wonders, but he chooses not to ask—Yoochun will tell him if he wants to. He doesn't expect it, however, when his lover moves closer and kisses his lips, a soft and loving kiss. So much in such a simple action . . . .  
  
"You make me happy, too," Yoochun says, smiling. "I'm happy that you chose me despite everything." Changmin opens his mouth to protest, but Yoochun shakes his head. "I have no regrets." His eyes fills with tears, the younger man is sure his lover will cry, but Yoochun doesn't. Instead, he laughs softly, gazing at Changmin. "There, that wasn't so hard, was it?"  
  
Changmin has to smile at that.  
  
"Sap," he accuses, choosing to ignore that he is, too, despite his protests.  
  
Yoochun laughs harder and pulls him down to lie next to him. Changmin obliges, leaning in for a soft kiss.  
  
"Do you love me?" Yoochun asks. His tone says he's teasing; his eyes say he's asking seriously.  
  
"I love you," Changmin answers honestly.  
  
"I love you," Yoochun says softly, kissing him once more. "Even though you're bossy and infuriating sometimes."  
  
"Hey!" The older man laughs when he hits him softly. "You ruined the moment."  
  
"No, I didn't," Yoochun claims, before kissing him again, this time deeper, pouring his heart into it. Changmin only holds him closer, trying to give the same he is given, he loves Yoochun so much, completely. He can't imagine life without him, hasn't for the longest time. _What would my life be without you?_ he thinks, over and over, his heart bursting with happiness.  
  
He almost protests when Yoochun breaks the kiss, but doesn't, allowing him to hold him close.  
  
"We'll be all right," Yoochun says with certainty. "Better than all right."  
  
Changmin sighs, settling against him. It's almost night, he can see the last sunrays peeking under the curtain, but the thought of sundown doesn't make him sad anymore.  
  
Maybe he has lost some of the people he loves, his childhood memories now fill him with a sense of loneliness instead of happiness. He misses everyone: his family, his friends, anyone who ever meant anything to him. It can't be helped, though, and he knew it would happen, no matter how much he hoped it wouldn't.  
  
On the other hand, here he is, lying in bed with the man he loves, in their new home, ready to start a life together. He's happy, they have each other. And that is all that matters.

**Author's Note:**

> For my dear friend Em. Originally published on LJ on October 2009


End file.
